AUGUST 27TH...

Today's Motherhood Monday Story is via @denupzter

"August 27th 2017 is a day I hope my memory wipes. Why?! Cause I didn't think I would be alive writing this today. I may over share in this post. But all of me knows that I need/want to be heard. You see, I woke up yesterday morning to heavy heavy bleeding (like the same gush when my water broke)...The first (of many many) blood clot passed was the size of a baseball. I instantly knew something was wrong and made the call to telehealth. Minutes later I'm being rushed to ER. For the next two hours I must have passed a large bowl of blood and clots. And with all the hormones and emotions flowing all I kept thinking was I'm bleeding to death... And how much I just want to be at home with my family. My husband. Mikey. My Levi. My mom. I've read and heard horror stories about postpartum recovery and lives lost.... I never thought I would be in this situation. The thought of not holding my children ever again broke my heart to pieces. And then the news came there was still a big part of my placenta left in my uterus. My body was just trying it's hardest to recover from it. Moments later I'm in the operating room, something I've never experienced before. Questions kept flowing... Like... What if I don't wake up from this....?! I cried as I was being put unconscious listening to the nurse say... "Oh hon, you're doing great." But all I saw were the faces of Mikey and my 6 day old Levi! How did I get here! Next thing I knew... ( Some 2 hours later) I'm waking up to a tube being pulled out of my mouth and me gasping for air. It was over.... They had gone in and removed the remains. I instantly felt better that I just wanted to get off the bed and run home to my kids. Andy was waiting right outside the doors... The second I saw his face there was this instant rush of relief. He's here and he's got me now. Tonight when I came home Mikey kissed my bandages... And right as he fell asleep on me leaned in and gave me the biggest hug and kiss. As I write this I'm holding Levi close to my heart listening to his every breath...The power of love is simply epic and I'm so grateful to be in this moment. Hug your love ones a little tighter."